I'm not losing weight. I'm getting rid of it. I have no intention of finding it again

I’m not losing weight. I’m getting rid of it. I have no intention of finding it again
I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested.

I’m not crazy, my mother had me tested.
I want to make my nae on facebook "nobody" so when I see someone post something stupid I can like it, and it will say "Nobody Likes This"

I want to make my name on Facebook “nobody” so when I see someone post something stupid I can like it, and it will say “Nobody Likes This”
I'm not fluent in idiot, so please speak slowly and clearly

I’m not fluent in idiot, so please speak slowly and clearly
Dear Heart, please stop getting involved in everything. Your job is to pump blood that's it.

Dear Heart, please stop getting involved in everything. Your job is to pump blood that’s it.
Follow your Dreams except for the one where you fly. That never ends well.

Follow your Dreams except for that one where you fly. That never ends well.
Yes, I spend a lot of ime on the internet. No, I am not antisocial.

Yes, I spend a lot of time on the internet. No, I am not antisocial.
Oh crap! was that TODAY?

Oh crap! was that TODAY?
I'm just tweeting to tell you I blogged

I’m just tweeting to tell you I blogged
Some of you walked into my life & made it better. Others walked out & made it super fantastic.

Some of you walked into my life & made it better. Others walked out & made it super fantastic.
It's a fine line between Saturday night and Sunday Morning.

It’s a fine line between Saturday night and Sunday Morning.
Irony. The opposite of wrinkly.

Irony. The opposite of wrinkly.
Have you ever been so angry.... "I'm so angry I made a sign"

Have you ever been so angry…. “I’m so angry I made a sign”
Dear 3am, we have got to stop meeting this way. I'd much rather sleep with you.

Dear 3am, we have got to stop meeting this way. I’d much rather sleep with you.
Sometimes when my internet is down, I forget that the rest of my computer still works.

Sometimes when my internet is down, I forget that the rest of my computer still works.
I'm older than the Internet.

I’m older than the Internet.
If you don't want anyone to find out, don't do it.

If you don’t want anyone to find out, don’t do it.

  

I never finish anythi

I never finish anythi

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