Top 10 reasons to raise your children as pirates
(10) Give a man a ﬁsh and you feed him for a day. Teach him to be a pirate, and he’ll steal other people’s ﬁsh for a lifetime.
(9) Divvying up booty is good quality time with the kids.
(8) When other parents hear you’re raising your children as pirates, they’ll stop asking you to volunteer at school.
(7) It’s fun to watch the emergency room doctor’s reaction when you say your son was injured during “a little mishap boarding a merchant vessel that refused to surrender.”
(6) You’ve always preferred the title “Captain” to “Mommy” or “Daddy.”
(5) You can spend your kids’ college savings on more important things, like a trip to Las Vegas.
(4) Your children already smell like pirates, so the transition will be easy.
(3) The family that plunders together, stays together!
(2) Replacing “family movie night” with “family terrorizing the neighbors with cannons night” is a wonderful change of pace.
(1) Cap’n Billy wants you to do it—and the last person who didn’t do what Cap’n Billy asked was set adrift in a rowboat with only a day’s supply of water.
If you found the previous list amusing, you’ll love, the book. If not, you likely have an “x” chromosome like I do and as the author notes, we won’t get it. The book has gotten great reviews for being funny, but I just found it corny. To be fair, I can see this being a great dad-to-be gift and perfect entertainment at a shower when men are included. Other than that, I can’t imagine anyone sitting down and reading it.
According to the author’s website, it’s a best-seller on Amazon. There are also several other excerpts available for you to check out and you can also purchase a signed copy directly from the author.
Title: CAP’N BILLY “THE BUTCHER” MACDOUGALL’S GUIDE TO PIRATE PARENTING: Why you should raise your kids as pirates and 101 tips on how to do it
Publication date: New Edition, February 2009
Size: 6 x 9, 124 pages
Cover price: $12.95 US (Retail)
Publisher: Cold Tree Press